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Chinaman Suicide Bomber? You’d have to actually be receiving presents from Santa in-person before a chinaman becomes a suicide bomber. These are some reasons why:

1) If a chinaman got his hands on a cache of bombs or weapons, he’d rather sell it for a hefty sum of $$ than use it on himself.

2) If a chinaman was promised 7 virgins in heaven, here are few adverse outcomes to this option :-

a) He’d ask to see them first (which we all know will not be possible),

b) He probably already had more than 7 virgins on Earth, and more to come,

c) He wouldn’t want them in heaven cos there’s no prostitution in heaven and he can’t be their pimp there,

d) He’d rather have many more non-virgins than just 7 virgins, and

e) He’d try to bargain for more than just 7 virgins (which he won’t get)…

4) He’s too selfish to blow himself up just so that his family members can receive payment and enjoy at his expense.

5) He’d take payment for the job and hire a non-chinaman to do it instead.

6) He’s not so stupid, and lastly

7) He’d tell you to go shove the bomb up your own a$$.

So there you have it. That explains why a chinaman will never be a suicide bomber. You don’t have to agree with me, but I’m sure glad chinaman ain’t blowing themselves up.

In the news yesterday, I came across a pretty picture of actress Nur Fazura Sharifuddin or better known as Fazura, who was yet again in the spotlight for the wrong reasons. Her picture was attached to an article stating that she was in court for the alleged charges of injuring another woman. That news didn’t really bother me, but what did really make my eyes go big was mention that she allegedly ’starred’ in an XXX homevideo some time ago. I looked back at her picture, put the 2 and 2 together, and that was enough to get me going on a virtual jet-set to find out more about that alleged video.

So I hopped onto my trusty Google engine, keyed in my destination - Fazura, and zipped-off at a blinding broadband speed into a virtual universe in search for the video. I scoured every nook and cranny for it but alas, returned empty-handed. No, I did not find it to my disappointment. But the search was not an unfruitful one. In the midst of my mining for treasure or digging for dirt - whichever way you choose to look at it, I did come across some forums about the video. Mostly were just red-blooded men like me, talking unabashedly behind their pseudo identities about their fantasies of Fazura and that elusive video, but one did make me stop for an extended stay.

This forum consist of people talking about not just the video, but certain moral issues. So I read on and realise that they are the Moral Police of the country, brought together by common race and religion - you get what I mean…(Ooo! Sensitive…) They tell about how Fazura has is a shame along with several other artiste whom they claim have been blinded by the glamor of the Western world (Orang Putih). Then they go on sharing their experiences and ’sightings’ about people acting indecently in public, and by that, they meant holding hands, kissing or hugging. One even said that he felt so disgusted when he saw a guy had to holding his girlfriend’s hand while crossing the road. (What the $%^# ??? What else was he supposed to do? Walk a certain distance away from her?)

So it seems they are a bit extreme in the way they despise these acts. But NO! Reading on, I realised that they are the biggest hypocrites in the world! I couldn’t believe at the way these self-righteous pharisees judged everyone else but themselves. In one of the posts there was a debate going on about the authenticity of the video and whether it was really Fazura. In response to that, one guy wrote that he is sure it was her. My question - How would he have known? Unless of course he watched that despised video himself! Then it does not stop there - another writer asks if anyone could send him the video so he can scrutinize it, and see if it’s really Fazura. (Oh yes, I’m sure all he’s gonna do is scrutinize it…someone please hand him some tissue!) The story goes on and on…

So well, why go around criticising others when they are, in my opinion worse off? Because it makes them feel righteous. Makes them think that their actions are justified. Unfortunately for them, the world is not as stupid as they are. We can all see ourselves who are the dirtiest minds around. Their pathetic minds that get a kick outta seeing a guy hold a girl’s hand, their wandering eyes and waggling tongues. My message to them, ahhh… on second thought I won’t even bother. They’re too self-righteous to even listen to my ranting.

Flipping through the newspapers in recent weeks, I realised that elections seem to be the flavor of the season. All around the world, elections, by-elections and re-elections are taking place. Governments are being renewed, replaced, reshuffled, reformed, rejected, reunited by these elections, and yet the power of the vote does not seem to don upon the individual voter.

A single vote might seem all too powerless in a pool of millions, but if every voter thought the same, therein lies a BIG problem. As we look around us, there seems to be a major amount of dissatisfaction expressed by the public towards the government, bad sentiments spilling out of control. Some demanding for a change in laws and policies, some demanding the resignation of certain leaders, some even going to the extent of demanding a new government, and lastly some simply seeking a better life the government had promised them.

I’m sure some of these governments are deeply at fault and fully deserve to face the wrath of the people, but then again, I believe that some of that fault lies with us - the voters, myself included. I am not one that is really into politics but with the little I know, many people have a lot to comment about the incumbent government and yet when it’s time to go to the polls, they re-elect them hoping something will change.

My point is, when the time comes for us to go to the polls, what are we individually looking for in our vote? Political stability, a War President, economic growth or maybe some of us just like the charm and swagger of the candidate. Whatever that aim might be, let us remember it. So that in the event our President declares war on terrorism, we won’t be complaining that he’s sending our sons to war to die. Or when we have great economic growth, we won’t complain that our prime minister is being paid too well. As long as the government is achieving what we had aim for as an individual when we voted for them, we should be satisfied - at least till the next election. Otherwise, don’t regret when revolt happens and instability comes upon the country. I urge you to think carefully before you put down that ‘X’.

Yesterday a friend asked to borrow some books of mine. Not only was it a request to borrow it, but to deliver it as well. Of course I acceded to it. Why? Because it was a request from a FEMALE friend. Not only did I deliver it to her doorstep, I even stopped by along the way to buy hot chocolate for her (on my own accord). I won’t even mention to you what time of the day it was that all of these happened. But the truth is, looking back I feel like an idiot doing it. I tell myself that next time I won’t do it again. But yet, this weakness within me fails me. And the next time the phone rings, I am off on my feet in a jiffy! So lemme analyse this - what drives me? Ahh…even the idiot on the street will be able to tell you. I do it for - you-know-what-a-guy-wants-from-a-girl from here on referred to as SEX. Truly the downfall of the male species, if you took a step back to look at the BIG picture, you’d realise how much it drives us. We study hard, to earn good money, to buy nice clothes, to drive a nice car, to get that beautiful condo, to have all that cash, to look good, to be the envy of the other guys and ultimately to get in between of the legs of the beautiful girl(s) - SEX. Point proven, I don’t think there is a cure for me, for us, for any one male - not even the males who prefer males. So I take comfort in knowing I’m not the only one, even as I prepare to impress the girls (yet again) with my voice and sing along to the lyrics of Bryan Adams’ song -  ‘Everything I do, I do it for you’, I know what I’m singing it for…

About a month ago I was driving back to my hometown on an expressway when as usual, there was a police roadblock somewhere along the way. Expectedly, I was pulled over not because I knew I was speeding, but for the fact that I was a driving a foreign-registered vehicle. Sparing you the details, in no time, I was asked by the policeman to pay him a bribe in place of a summon. Now, if you were familiar with my country, this would seem like an everyday story to you. Corruption is high on the agenda of the police force and without it, most of them would not find a purpose to go out to the middle of the highway to set up a roadblock. What makes the difference this time is their BLATANT ignorence to the badge that they are wearing. All over this police roadblock were car stickers on the police cars and badges on their uniform (like the one above) stating ‘I am Anti-Bribery’ in the local language. Maybe it didn’t occur to them that I understood what it meant  - thinking I was a foreigner. Then again, even if I did, what difference does it make? Corruption will still take place in the heart of their operations. The sad thing is that the Prime Minister of my beloved country is trying to rid the country of corruption at all levels in order for us to progress. Ironically, instead of having the police force on his side to enforce this campaign, he is having the mammoth task to rid them FIRST of corruption. Funnily, I thought to myself - "Isn’t it strange that the police are the only ones who have to wear this badge and not everyone in the country?". But of course the explanation is simple - they are the corrupted ones. Well, I sincerely wish my PM the best in his ambitious pursuit, but just a piece of advise Mr PM - It takes more than a badge…

In the spirit of anonymity, we will be blogging under the pseudo identities of MrSingh and Sayuri. We’re a couple of people who have lots of nonsense in our heads and a BIG heart to share it with you. We are ‘neutral’ people i.e. we have no leaning towards any particular brand of politics, race, gender etc…Everyone (animals not spared) are equal friends as they are, victims of our posts. And as far as blogging is concerned, in no way do our pseudo identities represent who we truly are in real life (hence the word ‘pseudo’ - duh?!). Please bear with us for starts as we familiarise ourselves with blogging. Hopefully, we’ll keep you coming back for more…

We live in a bizarre world. Then again to most of us, ‘bizarre’ has a different level of interpretation. In this blog we attempt to bring you what we define as ‘bizarre’. Our main aim is to entertain the reader and by that, we hope to bring you entertaining stories we come across - be it true or fictional, from our literal and virtual ‘jetsetting’ around the world. Be warned, that some of the content might be offensive and you are to read at your own risk. Thus, we will not be liable for any ill-effect on the reader (if you so choose to sue us). Most names will be changed to protect the identities of the characters or people referred to, in our posts. Ultimately, just enjoy this site. Let us entertain you!